Today, I’m linking up with Andrea from Momfessionals for her monthly “Show and Tell Tuesday” series. This months topic relates to life struggles and I thought I would center a struggle specifically centered around being a mom to a blended family.
This topic brings me to something that I’ve been meaning to touch on for some time now. There are several different family dynamics to our story- and when I mention “the best of circumstances” they truly are “the best” to an extent.
In short, I’ve had several people ask why I choose to discuss some topics on my blog while leaving other details out. I decided that it was a very legitimate question for some to ask- especially if I’m choosing to share my life through the interwebs. Here’s the best way I know to answer that question:
Many of our family struggles are left unwritten.
Truly, there’s so much more than meets than eye in reference to “the struggle.” I enjoy writing about my hopes and dreams and fears and daily life struggles while always keeping it real but it would be impossible to fit all the details of my life into weekly blog posts. I also would never want to write or share problems in my life that could potentially hurt another human. And while I may have a front row seat to witnessing certain heartbreaking events, they are simply not my story to tell. But please don’t be fooled into thinking that I (we) don’t have any. I hope my girls can look back through my blog one day with fond memories of their childhood. I also consider my blog to be the highlight reel of our lives- a keepsake for my girls to look back and see photos of their childhood and bits and pieces of my hopes, dreams, accomplishments and struggles.
Anywho, as I sat and thought about how I was going to organize my thoughts for this post, one word kept popping into my head. I literally think I can sum up my struggles in motherhood in one word that can be used in a twofold way…
T I M E.
As in, I have a hard “time” letting go and then in the literal sense of sharing parenting “time” with the girls.
I love this poem below. I think it explains it all so well…
For My Child
I make my plans for you from birth
Carefully carving out your worth
So wrapped up in who you’ll be
I neglect your individuality
I want to protect you all your life
Keep you safe from danger and strife
Temptation and pressure attack you all day
How as a parent can I keep it away?
I pray that you’ll receive God’s grace
And when you need to, slow your pace
Will my guidance be enough?
To guard and keep you from all that stuff?
My goal in life is to see you succeed
What’s the best way to plant that seed?
I’ll give you the room to make a mistake
I’ll trust you with each step you take
I’ll tell you “I LOVE YOU” when you make a mess
I’ll tell you “NO” when I want to say, “YES.”
I’ll give you the space to set your tone
Adjust my expectations as you create your own.
[JLE 2006 Poetry Verse Form: Heroic Couplet]
Oh time. There’s just never enough, right!? There’s nothing that can replace spending time together and no price that could ever repay the beauty of childhood. While I don’t choose to dwell on the fact that half of my daughters life is spent in the care of her other family, (my bonus girls are with me full time, for now) the reality still exists and the associated struggles are very real. I don’t know if I’ll truly ever be able to accept this but we have definitely learned to manage since it “is what it is.” My girls are my heart and when your heart is literally walking around in different places with different people at different times- well, I think I’ll spend a lifetime struggling to put those feelings into words 🙂 This subject also happens to land at a time where we were coming off the heels of Sophia being away on vacation with her dad. Vacation time with blended families are tough even with “the best of circumstances.”
There’s one thing I know for sure- I’m not alone in my struggle. There are so many circumstances that are far greater/tougher than mine and I don’t want to ever take all that I have for granted. The struggle is literally real for all of us and here’s to hoping that my story encourages yours.
Thanks for reading today, and thank you to Andrea for another link up! Here’s a list of topics for the remainder of the year: